We all have something that we want to achieve, a habit we want to develop, a way of existing we’d like to change.
This could be job related, it could be personal, it could be relationships, it could be to do with sport or hobbies or your own self care
That thing that you keep telling yourself you REALLY want to change, but still…nothing happens. You don’t get up earlier, you aren’t more patient with your kids, you don’t go to the gym every day, you don’t take lunch breaks…whatever it is, you really keep trying to change it but…NOTHING.
I’m going to let you into a little secret here…the reason why you aren’t making the change is because you don’t want to
I can hear you screaming at me – but I DO WANT TO! This is the one thing I really want, more than anything, but it just isn’t happening! I REALLY WANT THIS.
But the awful truth is that if you did really want it, you’d have it already.
So what’s the good news?
Well, if you start accepting this truth, you can start looking closer at why you don’t want to do it. Then once you understand that, once you’ve started admitting it to yourself fully, you can start genuinely wanting it and then the path the getting it will be clear.
An example…you know you need better self care, perhaps that means taking a walk every lunch time.
A no-brainer, right? That has to be a good thing, so why am I telling you you don’t actually want to do it and that is what’s stopping you?
There could be many reasons:
- You don’t believe it actually helps
- You think work is more important
- You are scared of how you’ll feel knowing emails are piling up while you are out
- The project you’re working on is far more fun than a walk
- The dopamine rush you get from doing work is bigger than you get from a walk
- It’s cold and wet and miserable outside
- Just going for a walk seems a bit pointless
- Or maybe you simply don’t enjoy walking and you should admit that wholeheartedly and choose a different self care option…
It’s time to get really honest with yourself. Stop wondering why you aren’t making the change and start asking yourself why you don’t want to do it.
Once you work that out, you can start addressing it in a much more constructive manner…
If you can do that, anything is possible!!
Want help with this or a different example? Get in touch!