It’s time for a change…

It took me a long time to accept that I was in control of the stories I tell myself.

I resisted believing this because it would put me in control, and that in itself was pretty scary! If it was me choosing the stories, then it was me to blame!

And why would I want to take responsibility for stories such as “I’m not good enough”, “I hate my job”, or “Things will never get any better”? 

It was much simpler to believe these thoughts were true and that I had no control over it.

So I had to flip it on its head and start slow. 

I had to look closely at what I was telling myself WITHOUT blame.

I didn’t go from “I hate my job” to “I love my job” in one afternoon. But I did start to question if that story was helpful or not. It turned out it wasn’t.

Telling myself each morning that I hated my job really wasn’t a nice way to start the day. It took up a lot of my headspace that would have been better spent elsewhere.

So I wondered if there was a story that was equally true, but that felt nicer?

I came up with a load of options:

– I’m choosing to work right now because I want to, even if it isn’t the ideal job
– There are parts of my job I enjoy
– I like the people I work with
– I am getting good feedback at work and that is nice
– I like getting paid each month, it is important

I played around with different thoughts and each time I started telling myself “I hate my job” I added one of these new thoughts into the conversation I was having with myself. 

I consciously started creating a new story that, even if I chose, ultimately, to change jobs, I did it with a lot more peace of mind, a lot more calmness and a lot more positivity. The new thoughts felt true AND they felt nicer. A win-win situation. 

The headspace that used to get taken up with negativity could now focus on nice things, like my family, like looking after myself, reading a book or planning a holiday. NICE things. 

Get curious about your own thoughts

So start getting curious about some of the stories you are telling yourself. Even if those storied feel true, are they helpful?

Would a different thought also be true but feel much nicer?

Would a new thought help you take new actions?

Would a different thought get you different results?